i miss the time where i played in the rain.. i miss my smiles and my laughters.. and i do miss my long hair as well..
i think i do miss him too.. i get to see him quite often.. but seein him is equal to never see.. cox he always seemed so near yet soOo far.. how i wish i can just get this person off my mind.. but then.. it seems tt he have been coming back this past few days.. or i shld say.. he has been always on my mind.. juz tt things have not triggered me to think abt him..
sadly.. many things had reminded me of him these 2 days.. probably due to the frequent apprearance of him around me.. i may have notice him but he might not even care if i exist or not.. well.. becoz i had nver expressed any of him feelings to him before..
well.. i seriously had never expressed my feelings to anybody before.. tts why.. i lost the one i whom i am deeply in love with.. i hate that feeling.. no one can understand how deeply hurt am i to see the two of them around.. no amts of words can heal the cut.. no amt of tears can make up for the pain i have to endure..
once is enf.. i dun wanna suffer it again.. jy suggest me to be more initiative.. but.. i juz cant make myself do tt.. i juz cant.. i dun have the courage.. nor the confident.. i am afraid.. i will think alot.. and.. this is certainly not me.. i juz wanna be myself.. how i wish i can go back to the days where i dun seems to care so much.. the carefree and the straight forward me.. some times.. i do wish i am the old me.. how nice if i am not forced to grow up.. at least.. i could enjoy my life more..
but i guess.. i juz cared too much of the outside factors to care for my own feelings.. mao mao says.. i listen to other ppl's problem but dun share my own problems with other ppl.. well.. its kinda true.. cox till today.. i still dunno how to share my problems with my frens.. i am too used to ppl telling me their problems tt i dunno how to open my heart and share my problems..
anyway.. how many ppl realli noe me?? recently.. i juz realise the impression i give ppl are veri different.. it seems tt with different frens.. i have different behaviours.. but.. none of these behaviour seems to let ppl noe wat am i realli inside me..
for now.. i juz longed for the fun and laughter i used to have..
